Even a Monster Can Love
by Judiff
Summary: Bellatrix's thoughts on her Master and her love for him. Total drabble.


**  
**Bellatrix Lestrange did not like being told to do. Nope, not in the least. It annoyed her. It grated on her nerves, made her narrowed her dark lidded eyes and twist her plump lips into a grimace. She hated it when people told her what to do. Rodolphus, Lucius, her mother, her sister…

But he was different. She didn't feel angry when he ordered her around. On the contrary, she felt elated and joyous. Almost as if, even though she hated the cliché, she was floating on a cloud. His hissing voice in her ear, oh! It was almost like ecstasy. His lovely pale hand, and his beautiful bony appendages, were all that held her down to earth when she felt like she was going to fly away.

The way he looked at her…It wasn't like the way he looked at the others. Of course, women were scarce in the Death Eaters' world. They were few and far between. Sure, there was Amycus, and there was Narcissa, if you could even call her stupid sister a Death Eater. But they weren't as loyal, of course. Narcissa almost betrayed him, you know, what with going to Snape for that damn Unbreakable Vow. She, Bella, was the most loyal of all. She knew what he wanted of all of them, and she'd do anything to please him. _Anything._

When her Lord laid his smoldering black eyes on her, his face changed, she knew it, she'd seen it. He was gorgeous…far more beautiful than she, than anyone or anything on earth. They were absolutely perfect for each other. He knew it, deep down. It's just…that damn Potter boy! Stupid, itty bitty Potter…if he were out of the way, her Lord would be free! Free of the worry of the boy. Free of Dumbledore… free…for her to have him. Finally.

She cursed in her head. She wished she could do them all off herself. And she would, too. Gladly….But of course, he wanted to do it himself. She couldn't blame him…the feeling of killing was like nothing else. Especially when it was someone you knew, someone you hated, loathed, had _always _wanted to die! Like Sirius….oh, ha! What a great feeling. It was elating, it was…dare she say magical? It sent shivers up her spine and made her toes curl from happiness. And of course, the Dark Lord was pleased when she disposed of Potter's last family. Angry, of course, no! Infuriated! That she and Lucius had lost the prophecy, but…minutely pleased.

Oh, she loved when he was pleased with her…it was a better feeling than killing. It sent a tickled through her body. But really, she wasn't all that disappointed when he was angry, either. It was happening more and more often these days, his mood swings. What with the Order's ranks growing, and Dumbledore and Potter plotting day after day in that damn castle, not to mention her fellow Eaters failing more and more, his face was often twisted in anger when she visited him in his chambers. He didn't seem to hate her company, though, she though. Sure, he would yell and throw several Cruciatus curses, but she knew that really, he was happy with her. After all, she was his most loyal and she almost never failed him. She groveled at his feet, cooing and praising him as much as she could. And if he were in a particularly foul mood, she could just sit in the corner and watch him.

He didn't mind. He adored her, she knew it. Lover's quarrel's, that's all it ever was. He asked many things of her…things he trusted her alone with. It was proof. And of course, the way he looked at her…his head tilted, a slight smirk on his pale face. His eyes would narrow with admiration, and his brow crease with interest. Bellatrix often shied away at first, her face flushing and her hair falling into her dark eyes. Then he would call her over, stroke her face. He'd ask her a favor, purring and hissing to her beautifully. That was all it took…his touch…and she'd do anything he wanted . Anything…

The others would never know his love. Never. It was hers, and hers alone. She pitied them, the ones below her. They were sniveling little rodents compared to her. They scampered about, risking life and limb and their own freedom at the hands of the Ministry, but she…she actually got something in return! Love...They, they would get nothing at all! When the Dark Lord took over England, no, the world! Sure, they wouldn't be tortured and killed, but…but…what fun was that? Nothing from him…she'd rather die than live without his love. It was…everything…to her.

No. No, that was a lie. His love was not everything to her. She also…she also needed…his touch…and his approval, his pleasure. If she could not please him, if she failed at her tasks…then what? He'd….he'd kill her. But she would deserve it, of course. If she couldn't please him while living and worshipping him, then if her death would please him, she'd gladly die. She would even turn her wand and the killing curse upon herself if he wanted her to.

Call her crazy…insane…Call her a criminal…a killer…A murderer, a monster…whatever you like. She was Bellatrix Lestrange, Death Eater. And it was all for him, anyway.


End file.
